Dream,
A dream is an expression of life's desires,
To some the best things in life began with it; to others it is just merely a peek in fantasy.
Dream,
A dream is climbing an endless flight of stairs,
Some claimed of achieving it; while some doubted of ever beginning.
Dream,
A dream is a psychological phenomenon,
With it you anticipate, with it you hope and some even aimlessly seek.
Dream,
A dream is a delusion of our subconscious blinding our conscious,
You claim to live your dreams, yet your only dreaming to live.
Dream,
A dream is place of no barriers nor limits,
Where you do what you cant, achieve what you think impossible.
Dream,
A dream brings you to where your heart dares to be,
Of truths or lies, of darkness or light , of dawn or dusk.
Dream,
A dream bares no sides, discriminations nor persecutions,
Be it life or death, peace or war, love or hate, fate or destiny.
Dream,
Have you been dreaming?
Dare to dream your dreams today.
I love to dream, don't you?
Dream ©Dark Star Seeker Feb 2008. All right reserved.
19 February 2008
Dreamt by Jack Jack around 3:46 AM
Fantasy Jack Jack's Poems
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5 Stardust:
*ahem* I am here to criticize your poem. =)
Dream is a psychological phenomenon, (how un-romantic...)
Now you see it, now you no longer sense it. (me not understand)
Dream,
Dream is an expression of life's desires,
With it you anticipate, with it you hope and aimlessly seek. ("aimlessly"?? Dreams give us purpose. The best things in life began with a dream!)
;) plus, its grammatically wrong to say 'Dream is...'. U can either say 'A dream is...' or 'Dreaming is....'
Hehe...poetry is a great way to express, no? Nice to see u writing..
-hmmm.....*ponders* so are u for dreaming or are u against dreaming? =) u seem confused there.-
Thanks for critiques oh wise Stella, I'm still an amateur in poetry, I've made some amendments and hope it sounds better... I feel so too!! Poems are great! More to come! please keep me criticized! :)
Alar....dun say until like i'm so pro. Im actually pretty bad at poetry. What im good at is criticising. =) the best thing is my criticism is constructive n usually true.
It sounds much better. Keep it up.
PS: Do post it on fictionpress. Nothing is ever "too amateur". Best foot fwd!
I read your poems.. and I think they are good :) I mean it..
Good one!! Although some part i don't really understand..
Anyways, for me dreams are meant for sleeping only.. None of my dreams have come true!! Haha :) I'm making u more emo tim.. Welcome to the emo-gang :P
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